sometimes you have to shut up and look in front of you

if i focus on the present, and blind myself from the past and future, things are pretty peachy right now. i just need to learn not to think so much, not to let my head overflow like that.
it's all about the little things. the tiny small details among our days that make it good.
like a bag of cookies as a pick-me-up from a friend. a nice set of clouds to block out the sun. the H-wing with the delicious smell of bread because it's pretzel day. The accomplished feeling after doing the plato. the fact that it's a halfday and we have every right to go home and sleep. the promising spur-of-the-moment plans for the weekend.
these little things are sweet, and if i focus on them instead of the larger bitter bigger picture...i find that life is enjoyable.
i know that i've made the right decisions in not dating until i turn 16, and even though it hurt to watch the boy i was in love with go out with other girls, and even though i've hurt some people by saying no..i know things will turn out for the better this way. this way, when i meet isaac i can tell him that i've always been faithful and obedient to God. and that's going to mean alot to him.
i'm kind of grateful i fell in love so young, it gave me a real opportunity to mature and to learn important lessons, and even to be faced with the dangers of self-abuse and all that other stuff..so i know it when i see it. and i'm confident in my inner strength.
i've gone through some pretty tough times in my life. and it's nothing to brag about. in fact, i don't like talking about what exactly has happened but it is important to write down and document them because it will remember my lessons learned, and how strong my spirit can be.
let's just say, mine has a six pack.
AGH i can't wait to meet isaac. it makes me sad to know that i'm not going to grow old with my friends. i don't even want to part with nita or carley or adrienne or sara or gilbert. even udi! and he's gone after next week. but i know we're all goign to go our seperate ways at some point. and have our own little lives...for however long until the end. but i know we'll all see each other again. we'll all be able to sit around a table, like we do at lunch..even if it's in another life.
anyways...that's all.

1 comment:

  1. we'll be in an old folks home. We'll have wheelchair races, try to sneak food into a room with a tv and watch old movies...