5/31/11

GOOD DAY!

Happy first day of summer, slackers! The school year is OVERRRRR!!
Today is the first day because it's the day after memorial day. Memorial day is when we all celebrate our veterans and whatnot, get off of work and just soak in the summer-ness. But the day AFTER our patriotic obligations end, and after the adults go back to work..that's when summer officially begins. Well, for me I'm not counting this break as summer until after I get back from girl's camp. Because until that day, I have to stress over making and finding my clothes, I have to buy supplies, keep breaking in my shoes, maybe go to Jeremy's graduation tomorrow (more on that later), and prepare to be brutally beaten by physical activity. There's just so much to take care of.
I just got home after four days of being at my dad's rental because my mom went to jersey. It's a relief to have internet back. But I miss my little Dell laptop so much. i'm going through withdrawals. I mean...everytime I have a struggle with deciding what I should do, I type it all out on this really long word document I've been keeping and by the end I have a resolution. But not this time! I don't have the cute little keyboard or the comforting pulsating white light under the covers of my bed.
It's just gone...
AND I SAID I WASN'T GONNA CRY!
But I missing having a netbook I could call my own. It's not like I'm never going to see it again, I'll see it in a month or so but I really miss it.
I promised jeremy I was going to his graduation tomorrow, but I have no ride. And I didn't hang out with him on saturday and I need to see him because I miss him and I at least owe him my appearance at his graduation. But I have no way to get there, and i bought him a bag of skittles and I'm sad.
Also, I told him I loved him.
UGH! I know. Judy already slapped me in the face. Don't ever declare false love, because it will come back and haunt you.
Although this isn't false. I do love him, I just know it's not as deeply as he loves me and I know that I am going to be the one to screw him over, and I'm sick of seeing him being screwed over. I mean, he deserves happiness more than i do! so maybe i should stick with my proposition of my love, and let him be happy. It was really late on sunday night when I told him. I was lonely and sad, like I usually am at that time of night. And I just got all caught up in thinking about how great he is, and all he's done for me. And it sort of just came out. But he deserves to hear it. I do love him.  And the least I owe him is showing up at his graduation, but I dunno if i can and I feel awful!
SEE. This inner turmoil isn't meant to go on this blog, it's supposed to go to my long text document of nonsense. If you think THIS blog is bad...wow. I mean, this is as organized as my head can be.
In other news, I walked to walgreeens today. I was with sophie and adam. they were cool with walking all that way in the heat. I think I can survive trek because I'm fine with walking long distances, I don't really get tired. It's the heat that's going to kill me. My dad knew someone who was going to give us a couple dresses and bonnets, but they bailed on us so now we have nothing. And it's NEXT WEEK. This time in 7 days, I'm going to be in the woods somewhere pulling a handcart with a bunch of strangers.
The thought of this hurts my brain.
But I'll do it, goshdanget.
I walked past gilbert's new house today. he wasn't home, he's been going window shopping all day. shopping tires me out. It makes me want to curl up in those baby cribs in target and take a long nap.
I blistered up my feet pretty good, so at least I won't have to deal with doing that next week or during camp. Ahh I got put over the second years who happen to have the longest hike. I could have sworn the third years were supposed to have to longest hike. No matter. If the universe wants me to hike my face off this summer, so be it. I don't care.
I am thinking about getting my hair cut really short. But I don't know. My straightener broke, so now i am prisoner to my crazy curly hair. sigh. But at least it broke after school ended. Thank the heavens.
I got into the habit of biting my fingers just above the knuckle. I accidently bit through the skin on my index finger. But i got to but white tape over the bandaid and draw on it. So that was fun.
Am I the only one that wants to shoot people who call the house phone?! the ringing! SO LOUD AND OBNOXIOUS!!
it echoes in my head!!!!!!
alright. the phone's ringing too much to think.
booop.




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